Moving Out

For reasons that very likely make sense to myself, I have moved this blog over to tumblr.
From now on until further notice I will post there only.

The new address is

http://brato-useba.tumblr.com/.

Welcome Back, Bass

Life is good.
I just came back from music making. Some local guys were short a bassist, and for some reason they asked me. A few weeks ago, out of the blue.

I've been learning bass lines ever since then, classic rock.
Today we had a very successful session, played some Creedence (Hey Tonight, Bad Moon Rising), Stones (Satisfaction of course, and Under my thumb, which by the way has an awesome bassline), and other songs like i.e. Hang On Sloopy, Mustang Sally, Another Brick In The Wall.
Next time I think we'll work on Jumping Jack Flash, and maybe some Billy Idol and ZZ Top.

I've never done this before, I have never bothered playing famous bass lines by other people. But it's fun, and it really improves my bass skills.

It's almost like in my university days, band practice twice a week... I just have to be careful not to fall back into old habits again - cigarette breaks, beer...

Good thing I brought my bass here last february, and good thing I bought myself an amp back then, too. How did I know? I didn't.
Guess I missed playing.

Not anymore.

Mistwetter

Fuck me, it's cold!

Here I am, the greatest blog-writer of all: After months of silence I come back with two posts about the weather. What in the name of He-who-must-not-be-named makes me even think that this weather is worth writing about: Fucking cold, windy, all this stuff that wishes it was snow but really is only rain coming down from the sky. Mistwetter, they call this back home, literally manure-weather, or shitty weather.
Did I mention cold? And windy? The kind that blows right through your favourite jacket, through your hoodie underneath it, longsleeve underneath it, t-shirt underneath it, undershirt underneath it, and onto your skin, screaming: Hellooooooo skin, here I am, let's get some frostbite going! Shiver ahead, boy, that's what I'm here for!

How did we go from summery fall to windy wet winter?

Time to get back into my winter boots. Only took them off in may, might as well slip them back on in october.

Snow

Snow today. Not a lot, but still snow. Enough to cover the grass for a while.

Yesterday there was some, too.

Winter is coming.

I Sold My Soul To The Company Store

That's right.

They offered me a new position and I took it.
I make more money now.
I work more hours now.

I owe my soul to the company store now.
With passion.

THE SECRET OF HAPPY MARRIAGE

I couldn't believe it, but thanks to Tony, the famous psychic healer from the National Examiner (or perhaps Enquirer, I'm not sure) , I have finally found the key to being happily married:

I have pinned this to my wall so I never forget this easy to follow rule.

Poker

Played poker last night from 8 PM until 4 in the morning. At a nice-looking poker table, all soft in the middle, saying Texas Hold'em on it. A round of seven.
I had some beers. Smoked a lot of cigarettes. Laughed my ass off frequently. Won 150 bucks.
Very enjoyable evening.

Luckily I don't work today.

Poker is an interesting game. Luck is involved, but to a smaller degree than I thought. Especially when you're down to three players or one on one you really have to push, regardless of your hand.
I guess it's up to you what you call it: either getting lucky or good bluff when your opponent folds after throwing so much of his money in the pot.
Fun game.
Even more if you end up winning.

Nineties Action Movies

Today for some reason I wondered about which action movie from the nineties was the best one, and I came up with this list:

Top 2 (I just can't make up my mind of which one deserves the number one spot more):

True Lies (1994)
This movie is just awesome. It has a great secret agent opening sequence with Arnie inflitrating the mansion, then escaping through the snow (poor doggies). Later the shootout in the hotel bathroom, the horse that doesn't want to jump skyscrapers, even a nuclear explosion. Lots of action, lots of comedy. Charlton Heston is in it. Too bad James Cameron never made a sequel.

Die Hard With A Vengeance (1995)
"I didn't say park drive. I said through the park!"
When this came out I went to the cinema and saw it three times on three consecutive days. The first time I disliked it. The second time I liked it. The third time I loved it. I still love it. It's awesome.

Place 3-5:

The Rock (1996)
"Hey Man, you just fucked up your Ferrari."
I love Nicolas Cage action flicks. This was probably the first one. He was all whiny in this one, but then again he had Sean Connery to team up with.

Terminator 2 (1991)
"I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle." Do I have to say more?

Demolition Man (1993)
Stallone and Sandra Bullock in one movie. L.A. destroyed in 1996. I've seen it so often dubbed over German: "Kalmieren Sie sich, John Spartan!"

Place 5-9:

The Last Boy Scout (1991)
"The sky is blue, water is wet, women have secrets."
Probably the coolest Bruce Willis movie ever. Awesome script by Shane Black. "Satan Claus" is in it. Halle Berry dies a horrible death.
(on a side note: at some point Joe Hallenbeck says to a minor bad guy: "She said her husband was a big pimp lookin' motherfucker with a hat."
The German dubbed version turned it into "Du siehst du aus wie ein verwichster Zuhälter mit Hut.", which means basically the same thing.
One night in a city I didn't know so well and between bars I quoted this line to a guy and his friends. The guy, whom I had never seen before, really looked the part, and I kind of hoped he'd recognise the quote and therefore kind of dismiss the underlying insult. (Truthfully: I probably didn't care, I was a bit drunk.) I didn't mean to insult him, really. It just seemed so much fun to use this quote on him at that particular moment.
Luckily I had a bunch of friends with me, too. When I just walked away they used a lot of effort and spend quite a bit of time negotiating the pimp and his friends down. Thank you, friends.

Con Air (1997)
"That's a rock."
As I said, I love Nicolas Cage action flicks. In this one he really really overdoes the southern accent tough guy saying things like "why couldn't you put the bunny back in the box" before kicking ass. This movie is totally ridiculous, but so much fun, right up to the ending in Vegas, where John Malcovich gets killed by some fly-by propeller blade.

Cliffhanger (1993)
Stallone in the mountains. That's all I need really to be entertained. The opening sequence also always makes me think of Ace Ventura 2. (Also it stole or re-used the music from The Last of the Mohicans (1992). I like the Cliffhanger score more.)

Under Siege (1992)
Gary Busey and Tommy Lee Jones are the bad guys, Steven Seagal is the ex-special forces chef who saves the day, the whole thing is Die Hard on a boat - there are many reasons to love this movie. I personally only need two: Erika Eleniak's boobs. I used to frame-by-frame her on my old VHS back in the day.

Place 10 (three movies here):

Speed (1994)
"Shoot the hostage."
Die Hard on a bus. To me this movie is gritty. And Dennis Hopper makes an awesome bad guy. Sandra Bullock is in it. I am a fan. Always have been. Likely always will be.

Last Action Hero (1993)
This one was so underrated. I love all the little references everywhere.

Die Hard 2 (1990)
"Why does this keep happening to us?"
The third best film in the Die Hard franchise.

Honorable Mention:

Total Recall (1990)
Arnie, Sharon Stone, lots of blood and gore and great special effects. Awesome.

Goldeneye (1995)
I couldn't not mention a James Bond film here. So I chose this one, mainly because I've always loved the bungee jump off the dam in the opening sequence.

The Matrix (1999)
This one really set off the CGI era in action movies. Therefore I mention it here. It is awesome after all.

All these movies are movies that I try to re-watch every few years or more frequently. I might have forgotten one or two. I didn't mention The Fugitive (1993), because it is not really an action movie. Bad Boys (1995) and Armageddon (1998) come to mind, too, the former probably a candidate for the honorable mention section, the latter I just enjoyed watching. Then there is The Specialist (1994) and Assassins (1995), both solid Stallone vehicles. Lethal Weapon 3 (1993) should also be mentioned, but in my opinion it just doesn't reach the quality of it's predecessors.

Maybe I'll compile a list of eighties action flicks next.

Vanessa Williams

Remember 20 years ago she claimed that "sometimes the snow comes down in june"? If you don't, you can refresh your memory here.

See, I never really believed her*. I thought she was using this line metaphorically to express something else entirely, like a stylistic device.
I've been thinking this ever since I first heard the song.

Until this morning.
This morning changed everything, because june is only eight days away.

I also know that I live in a climate zone that allows for certain tax breaks due to its proximity to the everlasting ice, but then again we are kind of at the summery end of said zone. Last year winter turned to summer in late april: plus 20 degrees just like that all the way to september.

But this year Vanessa Williams has a realistic shot at something like truth verbatim. June is only eight days away.
This morning I looked out the window and saw this:

Yes, that's right. Snow. On may 23rd. Snow. Let me spell that for you: S.N.O.W. As in cold and wet and falling from the sky. Once again for the slow ones among you: S-N-O-W. Like that rapper dude from the nineties.

Okay, Vanessa. Let's see if your pronouncement will be true this year**. Eight days to go.



*Assuming her words apply to the northern hemisphere only. I wonder if Vanessa ever considered recording an alternate version for the southern hemisphere, something like "sometimes the snow comes down in december".

**And if it does prove true, does that mean that the rest of the lyrics will be true, too? Like the sun going around the moon? Wouldn't that have serious effects on the planets well-being? As in desaster? As in end-of-the-world? As in apocalypse? Oh Vanessa, what have you done. Let's hope you're wrong and will be so forever.

As Suggested By Popular Demand*

My Heart Is A Strawberry & The Blaine Lake Audio Report

combined and available for you to watch right now right here for the first and only time.



The written account of this experience can be found here.

*which translates to: 1 person, jokingly. I'm dedicating this to that very person. This is for you. Enjoy.

Rammstein

Friday, about 4 PM. Four hours to go until the start of the show. We took our time getting ready, ordered some pizza, hung out in our hotel room. We had a great view of the arena across the street, and soon the first fans showed up.

Fans. Always show up ridiculously early. Should we run over there, too?

Naah. Clint's on.

At about seven we went downstairs into the hotel bar to have a few drinks. We heard the music thumping from three floors up, evidently the hotel staff had put on the right tunes for a Rammstein crowd. The place was packed with fans. It was awesome.
I don't know if we were just lucky or if the God of Metal was smiling upon us, but a table cleared just when we got there. Fabulous waitresses in short skirts were humming about: we got our drinks almost before we even had a chance to order them.

After my first Corona I stepped outside for a nice fine smoke, and outside the place was buzzing like crazy, too. Rock music was playing, and clever businessmen were shouting out tickets at the corner; folks dressed in black metal wear crowded the sidewalks, and tattooed girls in ripped tights showed off a lot of skin and questionable make up. Everybody was happy and laughing and charged with anticipation. It was great.

We had few more drinks and then walked over to the arena. Inside the support band was already playing. Some featureless hardcore metal I didn't recognize. In fact, they were through their set already, for when we got to our seats they were finishing their last song.
We got ourselves another beer in the lobby and looked at Rammstein merchandise: a great variety of posters in various sizes, t-shirts, hoodies, belts et cetera. Long lines of fans in front of it. Our driver got himself some wallpapers.
I got myself some napkins from a hotdog stand, and out of them I improvised some earplugs. Didn't want to ruin my hearing for a Rammstein show. Yes, it was that loud.

Before the show.

And then they turned off the lights. Darkness. The crowd who'd been screaming "Rammstein! Rammstein! Rammstein!" before, fell silent. And then...

CLANG!
BANG!

The blackness broke open in two different spots. White light shot into the audience. Shapes emerged in those light beams, wielding a pickaxe, a giant hammer, using them to break off more darkness. CLANG! BANG!
In the center a line of fiery sparks went up, then over, then down again, like a blowtorch cutting through metal from the outside, and then with a deafening BOOM the barrier was kicked down and fell and there he was, the singer of Rammstein, spreading his arms like Jesus himself, and his followers were jumping and screaming like crazy before him, and that was the moment when the drums and the bass and the electric guitars kicked in and the hardcore was on.

This is "Du hast". The sound quality is terrible, but perhaps you get an idea of how loud it was. Awesome!

There were lots of fireworks and flames. At one point ("Benzin") they brought a giant gasoline pump on stage. The singer took the nozzle and started using it like a flame thrower, shooting fire all over the place. At the same time a guy dressed like a fan climbed onto the stage from the crowd and was hit by the flames and set on fire and ran around screaming and burning until a guy with a fire extinguisher came running. He put out the flames and two big security guys dragged the "fan" off stage.
Later the keyboarder tried to kick the singer, but in return he himself got thrown into a bathtub. The singer then poured liquid fire into that same bathtub.
Through all that the heavy hypntoic rhythm of distorted guitars, bass and drums, played precisely and on-the-spot - broken up only by string sequences from the keyboarder, who by the way emerged from his fiery bath not only in perfect health, but also wearing a new sparkling suit. For the rest of the show he could be seen walking on the spot by his keyboards, like a machine.

Fire!

Our seats were on the 2nd level, directly opposite the stage. Furthest away from the action, you could say. Therefore my pictures might be a bit blurry.

Down in the mosh pit people were going crazy.

They had all kinds of lights in the show: every colour you can think of, and they also had laser light. Whee!

When in doubt, bend your knees and headbang.

They played all their major hits. Everything was in German, except a few lines in "Du hast" (Never! Never!) and in "Pussy" (You've got a pussy! I've got a dick! So what's the problem? Let's do it quick! - finalized by I can't get laid in Germany!).

Here's me, mesmerized.

Altogether an awesome show and well worth both the money and the drive. I'd go again.