The Terrible Cat-Book!

Fact 1:
I don't like cats. They make me sneeze and itch. They run away when I wanna touch them (which I don't), they stalk me when I want them gone (which I want). They scratch unexpectedly and they don't listen. I find people who have cats at least suspicious, especially male people (I believe there must be something wrong with men who keep a cat for company).
Fact 2:
I don't find most comedians funny. I find most of them predictable, lame, dull and intellectually undemanding. I don't want to waste my time with their bullshit, especially not if they venture into other fields, like i.e. writing.
Given all that you might be able to imagine my surprise when I opened the present my sister gave me three weeks ago when we met in Toronto. It was a present from my mother. I unwrapped it and found:
A book.
By a male comedian.
About his life with his cat.
A book intended to be funny, but incredibly mediocre and predictable.
For me this book is and will always be: The terrible cat-book.
Here's a link, for those who really want to know.
(One of these things you never forget. Once in my childhood the christmas duck didn't turn out so well, it was kind of un-tender and un-meaty. This particular meal since then is known as "the rubber-duck" or "the flying duck" to our family. The terrible cat-book will always be the terrible cat-book, brought up again when present-wise someone seriously mis-picks.)
So after I was done wondering what weird constellation has made my mother send me this horrible piece of printwork, I purposefully 'forgot' it in Toronto. I left it in my sister's boyfriend's appartment, hoping he would find a use for it (put it under a desk's leg if the floor is uneven maybe). Then I boarded my plane and forgot the book at once.
Two wonderful weeks of peace followed.
Today there was a package in the mail. Yay, I love getting packages! From my sister! Cool! What might she be sending to her brother? I opened the parcel and there it was, stalking me, haunting me, not letting go of me: The terrible cat-book!
Argh!
But you won't win, cat-book, hehe, no you won't, I know exactly what I'm gonna do with you!! Muahahahahar! Muahahahahar! Harharharhar!