The Last Post Of The Year

This is the last post of the year.

Earlier today
- I worked from 9 to 4, straight through my lunchbreak, didn't notice the time
- I bought 2 bags of chips, 1 bag of Doritos, 1 bottle of Sprite and 4 Mars bars at the store
- I hurried home through the cold cold afternoon (-27)
- we had supper (soup, very good)
- I set everything up for some movie watching

Right now
- I am writing this post
- I have music playing in the background

Soon
- I will turn off the music
- we will eat the chips, watch movies and drink pop (and fake beer)
- we will not go to the fireworks, because the temperature is supposed to go down to -37 tonight, I'm sure we can see everything fine from our window

The last post of the year is now at its end.
Happy new year.

Soup & Bread

Here is a picture of the soup I cooked today.
(Note the bread I boke.)

Late Gift

Today a package arrived, containing more presents! Yay!
So my list must be updated:

1 cool-looking 5-subjects-notebook
0.5 3 cookie cutters: 1 tree, 1 clover leaf, 1 skull and bones (That's right, it makes skull and bones shaped cookies. Cool. I really like pirates. The idea of a pirate cookie-festival sounds awesome to me.)

The notebook really looks nice and beautiful and pure. Is it really for writing in it? I'm afraid to write in it. It's so untouched. My writing can only... maculate it, can't it?

Thank you very very much, dear late gift-sender!

The Forever-Turkey-Eternity

So we had turkey. It was awesome, delicious, great. With potatoes and vegetables cooked alongside. That was on saturday. A 3-person meal.

Then came sunday, and we had more from the same turkey, my wife and I.

On monday we had turkey, again.

On tuesday we had meat from the same turkey, accompanied by pasta and/or fried eggs and bread.

Today for lunch we had turkey sandwiches.

Today for supper we will have a turkey-based soup.

Tomorrow we'll have more turkey sandwiches and the same soup again.

On friday we'll very likely still have turkey-sandwich-meat and leftover soup, so we'll eat that.

Conclusion:

One 4.5 kg turkey is good for 2 persons for at least 5 days, perhaps even a week.
It's the forever-turkey-eternity.


Oh, and following some hearsay about a great idea some bearded guy out east had about what to do with leftover broth, I froze some of it into ice cubes. Broth cubes! How aeseome is that? Nice broth portions always ready for whatever use necessary. Now I got three racks of them. Probably also good for summertime, great ice-cream substitute.

9 to 5

5.30, to be precise. I have a job now. A regular daytime-weekday-9-5.30 Job. Guess I have to change my little profile text on the right.
I work at the local store, wearing the local-store-uniform (a vest), with a name-tag (with my name on it) pinned to it (chest, right side), carrying a security card with me at all times (using it to check in and out whenever I come and go), having memorized my security-password, typing numbers into the in-store-computer-system (gaining access to it using my security card and password), moving merchandise around, sticking tags to merchandise, filing files, making sure files match merchandise, making sure merchandise matches files and pinning anti-theft devices on (or through) merchandise.
The receiving end of the delivery boy business. Isn't that something.
Now my favourite spare time activity, rotating cleaning day (this week: monday. next week: tuesday. etc) I cannot do anymore. Cleaning day has to sidestep to a fixed weekend-timeslot. Not sunday. The Lord sayeth Fuck off on sundays and Thy be lazy on sundays. So it'll be saturday.
*sigh*
What I hated when I was young I am becoming now: My parent's house's cleaning schedule.
I must have missed a turn somewhere.

Turkey

Right now I am cooking a turkey. The first turkey in my life. 10 minutes to go and it will be ready. Looking golden and brown already. I can smell it. And I didn't take a nap while cooking it, but I could have, because Mr. Turkey was fine cooking all by himself for more than 2 hours.
I'm cooking it to the music of Chopin's Nocturnos. I believe deep piano tunes should make it even more delicious.

What I Got For Christmas

1 black baking pan for poundcake
1 black baking pan for a different type of cake
1 blue sweater
1 dark-colored tuque that has my name on it
1 bottle of shower gel "Diesel: Only the Brave"
1 pair of warm woolen socks
2 packs of German Chocolate
1 wooden recipe box wit some recipes and lots of blank cards in it
1 box of Ferrero Rocher
1 box of assorted Kinder chocolate
1 pair of binoculars
1 National Adubon Society Field Guide to Trees (Eastern Region North America)
1 ancient looking grinding-pot with holes in the bottom and a crank handle
6 Novels:
How I Became a Famous Novelist by Steve Hely
The Way Through the Woods by Colin Dexter
Pope Joan by Donna Woolfolk Cross
Streets of Laredo by Larry McMurtry
The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
The Angel's Game by Carlos Ruiz Zafón
and...
0.5 pepper grinder
0.5 Slap Chop (as seen on TV)
0.5 cuddly stuffed reindeer holding a blanket in its arms
0.5 package of new sheets
and...
1 huge amount of various Christmas chocolate, sweets and cookies
1 toothbrush

AND

1 (early november present:) computer

Wow.
Considering after getting the computer I didn't really wish for anything else I got a surprising amount of presents this year. Conclusion: There must be people out there who like me a lot.
Thank you, people out there! Thank you very much!
Merry Christmas.

Seasoning the Dutch Oven in 22 Easy Steps

1. Wash it with soap and dry well. (done)
2. Take a fuckload of aluminium foil and create a catch-all to put into the lowest possible position in your oven. (done)
3. Put it there. (done)
4. Turn on oven to preheat to 350. (done)
5. Completely grease your cast iron pot with Crisco or similar stuff, rub it into every nook and cranny, don't forget the lid. (done)
6. Place pot and lid upside down into preheated oven. (done)
7. Keep it there for an hour. (done)
8. Suffer the smoke. (suffering)
9. Open windows. (impossible, frozen shut)
10. Open backdoor. (done)
11. Beware of dogs coming inside. (bewaring)
12. Freeze your ass off. (freezing)
13. Hope time will pass by faster. (hoping)
14. Experience constant fear the smoke alarm will go off. (experiencing)
15. Turn off oven. (in 30 minutes)
16. Allow pot to cool. (will do)
17. Hope the catch-all caught it all. (hoping)
18. Wipe off Crisco remains with paper towel. (not yet)
19. Get rid of catch-all and caught Crisco. (later)
20. Shut the fucking backdoor. (does the pope shit in the woods?)
21. Enjoy seasoned pot. (sure)
22. Wonder why it takes so long for the smoke to clear out, open backdoor again. (hope not)

So many presents!

Where did they all come from? I don't know, but they're here. And who lives here?
We live here.
Conclusion:
They are all for us!
Merry Christmas!

The Smoking Mole...

and his fabulous friend!
But first:
The legend himself.

Brato presents:
The
one
and
only!

The
great
awesome
and
unbelievably
wonderful,

the
world-
famous
and
intergalactically
respected

yet
unfortunately
chain-
smoking

Smoking Mole!
(He just arrived from Europe.)
And he is actually smoking, it's hard to see. The smoke smells like fir tree! (Burning fir tree.)

And he brought his friend.
Brato presents:
From a country that once was but today is no more,
He who was born in a factory owned by the people:
Trusty christmas-companion for more than a quarter century!

The
mighty
Nutcracker!And because both of them are always hungry, I promptly made a whole new bunch of gingerbread cookies. Well, almost. I changed the recipe. I replaced the ginger and cinnamon with a different spice mixture (made of cardamom, cloves, nutmeg, allspice and other spices).
For my European friends.
I hope the cookies taste good. So, as the smoking mole would put it:
En-fucking-joy!

Christmas Tree

Volleyball

Yesterday was the day of the annual wife's work christmas party. A big event with large amounts of delicious food and christmas music. People brought their families. Even Santa Claus showed up and gave people presents.
And games. Yes, there were games. The kind of game where somebody in charge makes people participate in ridiculous and embarrasing activities like putting on pantyhose with oven gloves or feeding people while blindfolded.
Thank god I don't work there.
Overall an okay event that lasted about 2.5 hours.

But before that, and I can still feel it in every bone and muscle of my body, on tuesday we went and played volleyball. The last time I had played volleyball was probably in grade 9, and I have only unpleasant memories of it.
In any case, since we were asked to go: we went and played. This village has about 6 or so volleyball-teams (like a team of cops, a team of teachers and so on). Apparently our team has never ever won a single game (or maybe one). Well, putting my wife and me on the team certainly didn't change the statistics. We lost. But, and who would have thought, it was so much fun that we will actually go again next week. I just hope it won't be as painful afterwards as it is now. Must be all the volleyball-related weird movements our bodies aren't used to.
Team sports. Gah.

Baking Cookies

Gingerbread cookies. A whole F-load of them. Iced. Plain. Different Shapes. In January we'll be fat.

A Tree Is A Tree Is A Tree Is A Tree

It's minus 24 outside.
So I put on my awesome Canada Goose Constable Parka (TM), and my awesome Canada Goose Gloves (TM) and my awesome Winter Boots (Which are winter-proof until minus 60 degrees... or was it minus 40 and I paid 60 bucks for them? In any case, my feet are very toasty in them.) and I put on under my Jeans my German Army Olive-Green Long Johns(TM?). Dressed like that and armed with a bag full of packages I walked to the post office.
Very pleasant walk, actually. Sun in my face, no wind, a little bright perhaps... 30 minutes later the bag was empty, my wallet considerably lighter and all the packages were on their way. I walked back.
This time I had the sun behind me. That simple fact caused a massive drop in face-temperature. It felt like my face was freezing off, and exposed to the cold were only my eyes, nose, cheeks and a bit of forehead. Whoo. The rest of me was warm and toasty, though.
So toasty, that the moment you go inside you MUST instantly rip away all that clothing because if you don't you will SUFFOCATE from the terrible HEAT that is trapped around your body.

In front of the store I found some little boy with a bicycle. The chain was off. Boy was sad and whiny. So I said: Hey! Need a hand? and I put the chain back on. While I was busy doing that, some dog decided to jump me from behind? WTF? Hey kid, I said, can you make that dog go away? And the kid did. (I didn't even use swear words.) One minute later the chain was back on, I said: There you go! Kid said: Nothing (not even Thank you.).
I bought a bagful of groceries, took 'em home (face-freeze again), went in, tore the parka off, assembled the No-Name Christmas Tree Stand(TM), put the parka back on and walked back to the store. There I was led into a giant shed where in the very back they have a stash of real Christmas trees. (Before that, in the store: Me: I wanna buy a Christmas Tree. Clerk: Yeah, just take one, they're over there. I: A real one. Clerk: Oh. (uses intercom) Clerk (amplified from everywhere): Costumer Service please for a REAL Christmas tree!)
The trees were all bound and wrapped, looked all the same and I decided that one's as good the next one. I picked one, shouldered it (like Arnie does with a log at the beginning of Commando) and carried it home. (There are certain activities that make me feel good. Carrying a tree on my shoulder is one of them. Wearing white undershirts is another. Like Bruce Willis in Die Hard.)

And now the tree is standing in the living room looking tall and slim like a giant green carrot, because even after removing the wrapping the branches don't immediately come down, because the whole tree is frozen. So we will wait and let gravity do her job.
Nice tree. It goes all the way up to the ceiling.

PS: Yesterday we also walked to the store. And there we bought, unbelievable: A Dutch Oven. A cast iron pot. With a lid. Apparently they're hard to come by. Who would have thought we'd find one in one of two stores in BFNW.

Built too tight

Ventilation, that's what's important! Trust me, I know, and I've learned the hard way. I've just spent the better part of the afternoon dealing with one of the furrier problems this world has to offer: Mould. Mildew. Argh. Disgusting. I don't know who designed this appartment, but it takes one shower to steam up all the windows... especially in the wintertime. I should have known this water wasn't just going to disappear.
Today I decided to finally clean away that leftover dirt and dust where the AC had been during the summer. That was when I discovered it wasn't just dirt and dust, but mould. Yuck! And everything was wet! Big drops of water hanging everywhere! Water standing in the nooks and crannies of the window structure. Hidden behind those office-like curtain things. Trying to look innocent. Black growth everywhere.
A terrible thought dawned on me - I jumped up, ran to the living room window, moved aside the curtains: The same thing! I ran into the bedroom, ripped away the tape that holds the blinds in place, opened the metals bars, swept aside the curtains things: Mildew! Water! The worst contamination imaginable!
Slowly I went back into the living room to check the backdoor window. Yes. There, too.

I thought: Well, mildew, if you want war, you shall have war.

It took only seconds to type in the security code to open the secure kitchen cabinet where the weapons-grade cleaners are stored.
I armed myself with the deadliest window cleaner there is. The ugliest, most disgusting kind. The kind those enviromentalists really disapprove of. The kind that kills whatever it touches. If you value having fingers, never, and I repeat, never attempt to use it without rubber gloves on. If you like being able to go running again in your life, never, and I repeat, never breathe while using this cleaner.
Muahahahar!

I took two hours to clean all 3 windows and 1 windowed backdoor.
Now the mould is gone.
Fuck you, mould!
Don't you dare to come back. I have more liquid death in a bottle! You have been warned.

151

Tomorrow november'll be over. That means we can finally take out our advent calendar. One door every day! I've found a Kinder-Schokolade advent calender at the store, filled with all the varieties Kinder has to offer: Schoko-Bons, Surprise etc. Very cool.

I've just noticed this I've posted 150 posts already on this blog. This very post is number 151.

As of today we also own a big box full of christmas decorations. Glass balls and lights and stuff. We've decided to put the tree up earlyish, around the 15th already. First christmas spent by ourselves!
But before we'll honor the in this country quite uncommon tradition of St. Nikolaus day. On december 6th. So on the evening of december 5 we'll have to clean our shoes, and then overnight Mister Nikolaus will put stuff in them. Yes. It sounds weird, but's it's fun. Especially if the shoes or boots are nicely clean. If not, you'll only get black coal.

But it's a week still to go until then, so I guess I'll be safe stealing some more cars and shooting some more people on the virtual streets of Liberty City.

Sex Gone Bad

There was a sudden explosion of outside-noise today. Barking. A pack of dogs was running back and forth in the snow, circling two other dogs, who were stuck together. At their back-ends. One light brown colored long haired big dog and one slightly smaller short haired blackish dog. Stuck with each other as if their asses were glued together.
An interesting case of sex gone bad.
The bigger dog kept dragging the smaller one around. We went to outside to investigate, but the dogs kept running all over the place, and the locals assured us it was perfectly normal for dogs to get stuck together like that. Seen it before! Happens all the time! Dog-penis stuck in dog-vagina! Excited pack of other dogs jumping around, wagging their tails!
Bark, bark!

Virtual

It's snowing again. According to the locals last year this time there was about a meter of snow. Today's snow, although an 2 inches only yet, looks as if it's about to stay. This snow means business!
I have this nagging suspicion in the back of my head, some voice insisting I've been spending to much time in the virtual worlds lately. Hanging around too much on the fictious island of Faranga, slashing saurian warriors and looking for either titan armor parts, hidden treasures and other artifacts or both. Driving around too much through the non-real streets and avenues of Liberty City, running over innocent pedestrians, stealing cars, shooting gangsters and throwing molotov cocktails at cops and gang members alike. Buying suits. Watching in-game TV. Listening to in-game radio shows.
The weird tingly feeling in half of my left hand seems to support my suspicion, it also suggests a possible strain from overworking those WASD keys. But do not worry! I've started taking pills against that! Nothing will interfere with my shooting/stabbing/fireballing/frosting virtual people/beasts/monsters!
And today I open the curtains and see: Snow. And later today, when I'll cook the roast beef, I'll think of it as fried meat taken from a black wolf, or as a shark steak purchased from that fish vendor in Harbor Town, giving me 15 experience points and 15 health points. That should take care of that left hand strain, too. If it doesn't, I'll spend one non-existent dollar at Cluckin' Bells for a life-restoring chicken burger.

Roastbeef

Tomorrow I'm gonna make roastbeef. It's gonna be the first roastbeef I'm cooking myself, and I am kind of excited about it. They had it at the store, and after passing it by on monday, thinking: "Nah!", I couldn't resist and bought one on wednesday. 1200 grams for 18 bucks.

After a week or so of having the new computer I must say that I am very happy with it. I won't write a detailed review on it (already available i.e. here), all I can say that whatever I did on it so far (gaming, image processing) worked flawlessly and fast. When I find time I will soon try some music making.
Before purchase I was concerned about possible fan-noise issues, but I've found that the system even on GTA4 hardly ever goes onto full-fan-speed (and even that is less noisy than full blast on my old ASUS. Full blast on the D900F is as noisy as an average desktop. But most of the time I don't even notice the fans going, though, only when it's really quiet (like at night). Temperatures under load settle between 70 and 80 degrees Celsius, that also is better than my old ASUS (which frequently hit 90 while gaming).
I cleaned out the last junk-files from the autostart (though on this machine I don't really have to worry about one or another crappy background process), and there are no stuck pixels. Very cool.
Awesome machine.

And now, well, soon-ish we're gonna have pizza. Yum.

Good News Everyone!

Good news. I am now health insured.
Finally, after more than a year, I can get sick again safely. Not that I have been sick. But now I can be! If I wanted, I could! No evil doctor's bills will stand in my way.
What a nice comforting warm and fuzzy feeling that is. I can feel it in my belly. Yay! I can fall ill again! What a relief! Whatever virus or medical malady may strike me down, I will be helped! Oh boy. I feel good. No American will ever experience a sensation like this. I feel so secure. I will start gettting sick tomorrow.
Mh.
Wait a minute. Maybe I'll finish playing Risen first. Yes. And then perhaps I'll try out this country's health care system. Yes. If nothing else comes up.

New Computer

Here's a picture, old next to new. The D900F is so fast, I thought my old computer was finally drawing his last breath. Then I realized it was its normal working speed.
I have to get used to a couple of things like the keyboard layout and Windows 7, though. The new OS is nice, and one can really fall in love with these Aero features. But coming from 8 years of XP, 7 is quite a change.
Awesome machine. Works great. I'll never go back to a resolution below 1900x1200.

It's here.

The package just arrived. Exactly 6 weeks after ordering. I'm gonna open it now.

Tracking

What good is a tracking website, if all it does is make one angry?*

Feeling too happy? Issues with optimism?
No problem!
Just check the UPS tracking website!
Instant frustration guaranteed!

Still feeling too good?
Just call UPS costumer service!
Free Anger That Leads To Hatred That Leads To The Dark Fucking Side!

Not yet enough?
Wait for UPS costumer service promised callback!
And experience for yourself The Wrath Of Khan!

*the new scheduled delivery date is now thursday, november 19.

Apple Cake With Streusel

After going crazy over UPS's tracking website and finally deciding not to go there anymore and to just wait it out I found it advisable to bake a cake. So I did that.

I baked* a Traditional German Apple Cake With Streusel.

This cake is no calory bomb like the last one, yet it is as delicious. Juicy. Ahh. *sigh*
*To me, who speaks English as a second language, the word 'baked' sounds strange and weird sometimes. In those moments I am not only suspecting, no, I am convinced that the word must be wrong, that it can't be 'baked', that instead it has to be 'boke'. As in "Today I boke a cake." As in "bake, boke, boken". Writing these words now, however, makes me feel differently. As if the moment was over. Maybe it is 'baked' after all. Bake, baked, boken.

Delivery Delay

The scheduled delivery date was today, but now it has been pushed back to monday. Very disappointing.

5 Weeks

Today it's been five weeks since the order went out. But I'm tracking the package through UPS. After sitting in the (far away but closest) real city for the weekend, it is now again on its way...

Snow White Cake

Remember the fairytale? Red as blood, black as ebony, white as snow?
Well, there's a cake following that line, and today I baked it. It's called Snow White Cake.
Full of red like blood cherries, with white as snow butter creme (or the cake-part itself), topped by copious amounts of black like ebony chocolate...
Results like that call for plenty of ingredients, especially heaps of icing sugar, one whole block of butter, half a block of margarine, lots of white sugar, cherries of course (in this case three cans of them), a little ground coffee, no less than 6 eggs et cetera et cetera...
All this adds up to a cake so delicious, so rich, so... so... delectable and awesome in taste and texture, that every single piece you eat serves as a ticket to Fattie Town, population: you, including a one-year free membership in "The Fat Club" (Tagline: Gulp Chocolate Fat!) and free admission to the musical show of Calory & The Boms, supported by Lardman and Orchestra Obese, hosted by W.A.D.O. (Worldwide Anti Dieting Organisation).

We instantly froze major parts of the cake for later pleasure. Here are two pictures.

Sky at 5:15 PM

Your Order...

...has shipped!

Questing III etc.

1st: Remember the questmap? Well, all the quests are done now, except main quest number 1. Before that one can be completed, they have to do some internal subquesting, which will then, if all goes well, result in my name being put on a certain list.
An interview, so it seems, won't be necessary. Once you're on the list, they'll call. And when they call, you've got yourself a job.

2nd: I've got word from the computer people, apparently now all my extras have arrived in stock. The notebook will ship within 2-4 business days. I've decided to expect an order-has-shipped-mail on tuesday, that seems reasonable to me. The earlier the better, though.

3rd: While I was finishing up my questing today, I talked to some guy at yet another job-opportunity-place (it also involves a list). They're still busy doing some internal subquesting there, been at it for 2 months now. But it's important, and, as they say in a distant country, the mills of bureaucracy grind slowly. However, the guy told me to call in next week, so there's a small possibility that my name's gonna be on their list, too. That'd be two lists at the same time, which kind of doubles the probability of actually being called.

4th: My questing involved buying a money order. So I went to the only bank in town. After waiting for 15 minutes and then failing to produce a matching bank card I was immediately stigmatized a non-client. Non-clients pay more for services. For my 10 buck money order I was supposed to pay a 15 buck fee. Being a non-client really sucks. You can't do anything as a non-client. Can't cash government-issued checks, for example. They only thing I managed to do at that bank as a non-client was putting money into a client's account.
So for my money order I walked to the post office instead (which is considerably further away, and it's minus 5 degrees celsius). At the post office the fee was only 5 bucks. (And I hitched a ride on the way back.)

5th: Because the last oven-baked chicken was such a success, I've decided to make another one today. Mhh, that'll be a feast.

November Winter

This weather makes me think it's late january or early february, because where I come from it goes like this (October to March): Fall, Rain, Mud, Rain, Cold, Rain, Christmas, Freezing Rain, Rain, Snow, Rain, Rain, Spring.
But as you can see the snow's here already, and Christmas is still 2 months ahead.

4 Weeks

4 Weeks have passed.
I have to be patient. Be patient, Brato.

November 1st

There. October becomes November and it starts to snow. It's been snowing all day. Looks like the snow is here to stay. I bet now it'll keep snowing nonstop until april 1st, because that's just how it is here in BFnowhere. Winter, I welcome you.
.
..
...
But now you can go. And call in Summer on your way out!

Fish & Potato Salad

I found this recipe on the internet. Apparently they eat their fish like it that in the City of Hamburg.

(for four)

You need:

enough fish filet for four
3 eggs
150 ml beer
some flour
2 teaspoons mustard
some oil
3 tablespoons olive oil
potatoes for four
150 ml vegetable broth
2 tablespoons white vinegar
some parsley
some lemon juice

Here's how it's done:

Roll the fish in flour. Mix the eggs with the beer, then add flour until the mixture is nice and thick but still liquid. Heat oil in a skillet, dunk fish into the egg-beer-mixture and fry until it's nice golden-brown. Sprinkle with lemon juice before eating.
Boil potatoes, peel them, cut in slices. Mix hot broth, vinegar and mustard and let the potatoes sit in that for 10 minutes. (If you end up with too much dressing in the salad, just pour it out.) Then add olive oil. Decorate with parsley.

That's it.

I cooked this today and it tasted awesome. I was wondering why there's no salt or pepper mentioned, but we've found it's not necessary. The meal is super delicious just like that. We had some cauliflower and carrots on the side. No picture, though. We had eaten half of it already before I remembered that a photo might be nice.

Cinnamon Rolls

I made cinnamon rolls today.

I also got word from the computer people. They say next week or shortly after. How disappointing.

3 Weeks

Today it's been three weeks since I've ordered the laptop. Apparently they are assembling it right now (I hope), but there's a chance they're still waiting on some exotic parts (me and my extra-sausages). Well, well. But I got a 22 buck refund (7 is cheaper than Vista). I'll wait some more.

By the way, my chess playing hasn't much improved since yesterday. It's like: Mh... won't go here, shouldn't go there, could do this, definetely won't do that, but this looks good... - CLICK - or does it? Argh, shit! Fuck! Shit!

Pawn to H1N1

Alright. I am now officially H1N1 vaccinized. The epidemic can come.

But: I've lost another chess game to a certain friend. It's the 3rd one already (and one draw), and that is quite unacceptable. I remember the times when we played over beer in scarcely lit bars. It was quite balanced. He won, I won, I won, he won. But now? Either my brain's degrading, or I just happen to play better over beer in scarcely lit bars.
So I must take refuge to a The Byrds quotation: To everything, there is a season. Turn, turn, turn.
*sigh*

Another Day, Another Cake

We ate the last piece of pound cake today, so it was time for a new cake. This time with cherries on top. It'd be better with fresh recently-picked-from-the-tree-sour-cherries, but the ones out of a jar are okay (well, they're the only ones I could find, so they kind of have to be okay). Rating: Mhhh, good cake, honey.

Simulated Bacon Books

Simulated bacon bits have a tendency to loose their color, and if you put them in a meal, they will also gradually lose their flavour (unlike real bacon, which gives its flavor to the meal). Related to that: I made green bean soup yesterday for today (no cooking today because of switched off water). And can you believe it, for some reason I forgot to add broth. And there I sit wondering why the soup has such a plain and sober taste... unbelievable. Forgetting the broth. I've added it now, but I'm afraid now it's too much.
I've read some books in the last few weeks. First I read through the whole Harry Potter series once again. That's always fun. Then the latest Dan Brown, The Lost Symbol. Well, what can I say, it's like The Da Vinci Code all over again, only in Washington, quite unsurprising, yet entertaining. At one point I was really impressed with the author, thinking that he has brought up the courage to SLIGHT SPOILER AHEAD kill off a very important person, only to discover that he hasn't. Quite disappointing that, just like the revealment in the end of what the Lost Symbol really is. Apart from that it's a nice book for some light reading.
After that I read a way better book: The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, by Stieg Larsson. Swedish guy with a talent to create interesting and believable characters. The book is basically a mystery, set in Sweden, and the plot not in the least feels as constructed as many others. While you keep reading a Dan Brown to prove that you anticipated correctly, you keep reading Larsson to see where he's gonna take you next, and because you have to know what will happen to the characters and how they'll react.
I really like reading a Swedish author again, all the Gatans and Kronors remind me of reading the Wallander series, which I very much enjoyed.
Right now I'm reading the second part, The Girl Who Played With Fire. It picks up about a year after the happenings in part one and as of right now (I'm 60 pages in) is just as good as its predecessor.
My mother has also send me a book in my native language, but I'm gonna save that one for Christmas and read it under the Christmas tree. (I wonder if they do Christmas trees here in Bumfuck. I sincerely hope I won't have to go into the woods and cut one down myself.)

Waiting

Today it's been two weeks since the order for the new laptop went out. They won't ship it before thursday, that much is certain, and I've upgraded from Vista to Windows 7, so no later updating fuzz for me.
*more waiting*

Also I got a call today from my good old buddy Your Captain Speaking. It went like this:

Phone: *ring ring, ring-a-ring ring* (the 'a' is a little hiccup which only occurs with long-distance-calls)
Me: Hello? Hello?
Phone: *silent*
Me: Hello? *looking at phone* HELLO?
Phone: *silent*
Me: Hell--
Phone: WWRHHOOOOOHHHHHHMMMMM!!!
Me: WTF? How did you fuckers get my number?
Phone: Hello, this is Your Captain Speaking, you just won tickets for a cruise!
Me: Fuck off. *slam phone down*

I have a steak marinading in the fridge.

Pound Cake

So we had garbanzo-bean-burgers for supper, with salad and potatoes and tzatziki. And since that is not exactly my favourite meal, I felt a little... unsatisfied afterwards, and I thought: What about a nice dessert? And I remembered talking cake recipes with a friend of mine on skype in the afternoon, and suddenly I was completely captured by an infinitive urge to make a pound cake.
So I made a pound cake, and I followed my mother's recipe closely, I even scraped off the peel of one lemon and added that to mixture.
Unfortunately the white powder in an unmarked bag among my baking supplies I thought was icing sugar turned out to be baking soda - good thing I checked first! So I just sprinkled a bit of vanilla sugar on top of my cake instead, which worked out okay. (I don't have a special pound cake pan, neither the rectangular nor the round holey kind, that's why the rather odd shape.)
And I'm just having a piece right now. And it tastes awesome. It always amazes me again and again, that I myself can make all kinds of awesome meals and cakes and stuff without having any additional education or special (grand)motherish gene modification done. Isn't that something? Yes, it is. Almost like magic.

Behind Bars

The winter is coming. The days get shorter. Temperatures go lower. Darkness comes earlier and goes later. The Air Conditioner Unit got taken out. The windows get bars.
Yes, the windows get bars. If that is an annual winter precaution or something completely new this year I don't know. The bars are not supposed to keep us inside, of course they are supposed to keep burglars and murderers and other criminals and their friends and their friend's friends outside. The bars are here to lower the danger, to lower the risk of being robbed by fellow members of this community. To keep us and our possessions safe. I feel so much safer now.
Welcome, new bars! Let us be friends.

Plumcake Again

For some reason they had blue plums (black plums, according to my receipt) at the store, so I bought them to make plumcake. I kind of improvised my last plumcake, but this time I followed the recipe a little more. Here's a (little over-yellowish) picture. I have a good feeling about this cake. It's gonna be awesome. (I ran out of plums, so that part became sugar-cake. Even better. Two cakes in one. Whee, I can't wait to eat some.)

Will Soon The Eggs Take Over?

Today at breakfast it hit me: What if eggs tried to take over the world? Isn't that a terrible danger? Aren't we all in mortal peril?
But then I thought about it, and now I'm not so sure if the eggs will ever even succeed in an attempt to dominate the world. Here's why:
As soon as the eggs gain power, they will first of all want to enslave the chickens, to make new eggs and offspring. The chickens won't care, they're enslaved already by humans, and if you're a slave, it doesn't really matter who your master is, they might even be better off, because eggs won't eat chickens.
But then, and that's the problem, sooner or later all the eggs will evolve into chickens. Then the masters become the slaves, who will create more masters - it'll either be a terrible paradoxon, the kind that fucks up the space-time-continuum, or a giant circle, that will work. But I think it won't work, because the offspring of slaves will usually not be emotionally fit to become cruel masters, knowing slavery and all. So after a while there will be masters, who don't really want to be masters and instead go for democracy or something, and then the whole world domination thing will be over with.
You might say, what if the eggs just make sure they won't evolve into chickens, just by keeping male and female chickens seperated. Yes, that will interrupt the reproduction, but also the chickens will get old and the eggs will go foul. Old chicken = less eggs, foul eggs can't rule, ergo no world domination.
Then you might add, what if there's just a small amount off chickens allowed to produce eggs, and those eggs will immediatly be educated to rule by a small group of eggs, an egg-elite of masters? That won't work either, because sooner or later all the other chickens and eggs will die of old age or decay, and then the dictators will have no people to rule, and, more importantly, no army to use against all the other lifeforms, thus, no world domination.
I must therefore conclude, that the danger of eggs taking over the world is pretty small at the moment, we can sleep in peace at night, we can keep eating eggs and chickens for now, all is well.

Thursday

Well, today I did some of the questing described on the map, I did the blue ones up to 4. Ones blue 5 happens, I will finish blue, and go for green and red.
My package from europe arrived today, too, containing Risen. Now all that has to arrive is the new computer. *I'm waiiiiting, I'm waiting... for you...*

Mechanical Horse Part 3

(check if completed)
...
4. Put everything in the box(es). CHECK!
5. Haul to chosen shipping company (Canada Post). CHECK!
6. Pay. CHECK!
7. Travel on commercial airliners to destination. CHECK!
7b. Wait forever. CHECK!
8. Show up with identification. CHECK! (well, kind of)
9. Receive parcel(s). DEFINETELY CHECK!
10. Carry home, unpack, reassemble, ride. CHECK!

(The horse arrived yesterday. Some parts got here last thursday already, but what good is a mechanical horse without a seat? Or without a handle-bar? Or without pedals? Exactly.)

Getting Used To Living In A Kind Of Different Climate Zone (Almost)

According to the weather network it is -10 degrees outside today. I can't 100% confirm that, because I didn't go outside yet. But it certainly looks cold.
Today it's been one week since I ordered my new computer. That means: Probably another two weeks to go... *sigh*

Chicken

Today I made chicken. A whole chicken. In the oven. I rubbed it with a spice-mix first. It turned out great. Deliciousness according to the wife-o-meter: Awwwwwwwwesome!

Snow Again

It's October 1oth. The trees are still green but there is snow. I wouldn't say it's cold, more like the weather we have in Europe around christmas. But it's not christmas. It's october.

Questing: The Map

To illustrate better the questing I have to do for that job opportunity, I've drawn a little questmap.Okay. H is home, J is where the job is, C is the cop station, P is the post office, B is the bank, R is the place where heard the rumor about the job opportunity and AwayLand is that place far away where stuff has to be mailed to.
The dotted red line represents the job rumor, the full red line represents the main quest (get the job). Green and blue represent the various subquests, while the dotted blue line stands for stuff being mailed somewhere. The numbers illustrate the right order of things. This of course shows already the most efficient way of questing in this kind of situation, although additional and not yet known unsurfaced subquests may emerge at any time.

Questing

Sometimes real life imitates role-playing games: A couple of days ago I found out that there is one more job-opportunity in this town, one I have not explored yet...
Main quest: Get the job.
So I went there, but in order to work there, you have to do...
Subquest A: Go to the Cops and get an I'm-no-criminal-card and bring it back.
So I went there, but in order to get that card, you have to do...
Subsubquest 1: Go to the bank and get a money-order for 10 bucks. Then come back here and do...
Subsubsubquest alpha: Fill out this form (with all your personal information) and bring it back here, then wait forever.
and
Subquest B: Fill out this form and mail it to this adress, then bring the result back.
Subsubquest 2: Go to the bank and get another money order for another 10 bucks. Then mail that, too and wait forever.
So, after completion of subquest A and B, subsubquests 1 and 2, and subsubquest alpha, I will be able to do...
Subquest C: Master the interview...
And so on, and so on...

Snow?

Snow! It's snowing. Right now. Not very much, and it doesn't stay, but it is snowing. Snow.

EDIT: Forget very much. The ground is turning white.

Update: The Terrible Cat-Book!

The terrible cat-book is not here anymore. It's gone. Or going. Somewhere else. It's basically on its way to another location. To a destination. Muahahahahar! Muahahahahar! Recipient of the terrible cat-book, beware!

The Weather Is Ass

I took a walk today, to the post office (hehe), to the store, bought three packs of strawberries, all that in this cold drizzling rain (who was with his friend, evil freezing wind). Back home I made tuna-fish-salad. And then I felt like making strawberry-cake. Good thing I had bought all those strawberries. Mhh, strawberry-cake. Delicious.

The Terrible Cat-Book!

Fact 1:
I don't like cats. They make me sneeze and itch. They run away when I wanna touch them (which I don't), they stalk me when I want them gone (which I want). They scratch unexpectedly and they don't listen. I find people who have cats at least suspicious, especially male people (I believe there must be something wrong with men who keep a cat for company).
Fact 2:
I don't find most comedians funny. I find most of them predictable, lame, dull and intellectually undemanding. I don't want to waste my time with their bullshit, especially not if they venture into other fields, like i.e. writing.
Given all that you might be able to imagine my surprise when I opened the present my sister gave me three weeks ago when we met in Toronto. It was a present from my mother. I unwrapped it and found:
A book.
By a male comedian.
About his life with his cat.
A book intended to be funny, but incredibly mediocre and predictable.
For me this book is and will always be: The terrible cat-book.
Here's a link, for those who really want to know.
(One of these things you never forget. Once in my childhood the christmas duck didn't turn out so well, it was kind of un-tender and un-meaty. This particular meal since then is known as "the rubber-duck" or "the flying duck" to our family. The terrible cat-book will always be the terrible cat-book, brought up again when present-wise someone seriously mis-picks.)
So after I was done wondering what weird constellation has made my mother send me this horrible piece of printwork, I purposefully 'forgot' it in Toronto. I left it in my sister's boyfriend's appartment, hoping he would find a use for it (put it under a desk's leg if the floor is uneven maybe). Then I boarded my plane and forgot the book at once.
Two wonderful weeks of peace followed.
Today there was a package in the mail. Yay, I love getting packages! From my sister! Cool! What might she be sending to her brother? I opened the parcel and there it was, stalking me, haunting me, not letting go of me: The terrible cat-book!
Argh!
But you won't win, cat-book, hehe, no you won't, I know exactly what I'm gonna do with you!! Muahahahahar! Muahahahahar! Harharharhar!

Desk

The small plane that took me here was piloted by 2 female pilots. They also have to move the luggage from and to the plane... for weird security reasons they don't accept any help from passengers, so I had to watch how they moved around the big heavy 64 lbs desk-package with difficulty.
It doesn't seem as heavy once put together, but it makes for a nice fine workspace.

It's Done!

I've done it.
I've ordered my new computer:
Sager NP9280 (Built on Clevo D900F) Ultimate Custom Laptop

- Operating System: ~Windows Vista Ultimate 64-Bit - Battery: Smart Li-ion Battery (12 Cell) - Case: Basic Black Business Case - Sound Card: Sound Blaster Compatible 3D - Camera: Integrated Digital Video Camera - Wireless Network: Built-in Intel® PRO/Wireless - Bluetooth: Internal Bluetooth + EDR - Memory Card Reader: Internal 7-in-1 Card Reader - Raid: Raid 0 Stripe Enabled - Third Hard Drive: None Standard - Second Hard Drive: ~ 500GB 7200RPM - Primary Hard Drive: ~ 500GB 7200RPM - Optical Drive: ~ 2X Blue-Ray Read/8X DVDRW - Ram: ~ 6,144MB DDR3 1066MHz Memory - Video Card: nVidia GeForce GTX 280M 1,024MB - Thermal Compound: Arctic Silver 5 Thermal Compound - Processor: Intel Core i7 Quad (Nehalem) 950 - Display: 17" WUXGA "Glare Type"

Whee! Now I can only wait.

Back In Bumfucknowhere

We're back in Bumfuck. Later more.

Travels

Another flight, another city, another luxury hotel room with a football field for a bed. The flight was two hours and a bit crowded. We've been a little late for check-in, so I didn't get my ususal seat next to the emergency exit. Middle-seat. But who cares. Nice week last week is over, tomorrow we'll fly on to Bumfucknowhere again! I will go to the bulk barn tomorrow and stock up especially on Italian seasoning, which can't be purchased in Bumfuck.
One thing: Eight degrees here feel much warmer than 8 degrees where we just came from. Weird.

Viva Civilization Reason #20561 And #20562

There's hope for humankind, because of:
- the invention of non-latex condoms.*
- the invention of alcohol-free beer.**

*because they're way better than normal ones: No smell.
** because it tastes likes beer, refreshes like only beer can refresh, makes you feel like drinking beer (so manly, muahahahar), but doesn't make you fat. Nor drunk. It's also less expensive.

Alternative post title: Serious Signs Of Getting Old #1 and #2.

Saturday

The weather is crazy. All of a sudden today summer is back again, when yesterday and before it was fucking cold. Tomorrow we'll travel back north again.
The game I was waiting for, Risen, came out yesterday (and amazon informed me that my order has shipped). In the meantime I played the demo a lot. I like it. Can't wait to play the full game (though I'll have to, it doesn't run on my own computer, and my new laptop won't be delivered before the month is over).
I'm hungry.
Oh, today is a holiday in Germany. It used to be october 7th (kind of), but now it's october 3rd. It goes kind of unnoticed here, though. And I'm not one of the flag waving kind anyway.
Later today we will go and see Zombieland. I don't really know why, but who cares. Then there's my chess games. I'm playing several games at a time against different people and some games don't go too well for me... Grrr. Must play better! Must play better!
But first I must go now and find something to eat.

Mechanical Horse Part 2

(check if completed)
1. Remove feet, handlebar, seat, pedals and all other detachable parts. CHECK!
2. Find a big enough box. FAILURE!
2b. Be upset because found boxes are too small. CHECK!
2c. Make plans to find bigger box. CHECK! (sort of)
2d. Find bigger box. Be happy. Realize box is still too small. CHECK!
2e. Modify box to fit necessary measurements. CHECK!
2f. Use loads of duct tape make 2e happen. CHECK!
2g. Keep thinking: This will never work! This will never work! FAILURE!
2h. Be happy about newly created box. CHECK!
3. Optional: Inquire about shipping costs at post office and UPS store. CHECK!
4. Put everything in the box(es). CHECK!
5. Haul to chosen shipping company (Canada Post). CHECK!
6. Pay. CHECK!
7. Travel on commercial airliners to destination.
8. Show up with identification.
9. Receive parcel(s).
10. Carry home, unpack, reassemble, ride.

How To Send A Mechanical Horse In 10 Easy Steps

(check if completed)
1. Remove feet, handlebar, seat, pedals and all other detachable parts.
2. Find a big enough box.
2b. Be upset because found boxes are too small. CHECK!
2c. Make plans to find bigger box. CHECK! (sort of)
3. Optional: Inquire about shipping costs at post office and UPS store. CHECK!
4. Put everything in the box(es).
5. Haul to chosen shipping company.
6. Pay.
7. Travel on commercial airliners to destination.
8. Show up with identification.
9. Receive parcel(s).
10. Carry home, unpack, reassemble, ride.

Things

Good evening.
On a flight I've seen the movie The Proposal, and as an old Sandra Bullock Fan I enjoyed it. Nice nudity. I also (just to follow the thought), which is quite curious, on one of my various internet-surfing-sessions encountered a porn actress who looks quite like one of my ex-girlfriends. That's weird in a Did-I-once-fuck-that-babe? sort of way. I did some research (checked out more material) and I'm pretty sure now that it's not her. Just the styling in that one photo-session, then.
What else? Yes, the new season of Heroes has started, I watched episode 1 and 2 with scepticism, with episode 3, however, things seem to thicken up a bit. So it might actually turn out to be good, even though they didn't kill off, what's her name, the Tracy Strauss character. But the situations the others are in seem interesting enough, and I'd like to know what happens next.
In the meantime we went and bought our winter gear, awesome new winter jackets, gloves, warm socks etc. I guess the winter can come now. We're ready.
I'm starting a countdown today: 30 days until my new computer!

Surrogates

I've just come back from watching Surrogates. It's an okay movie, nice premise - what happens, if we can send replacements of ourselves out into the world. The movie keeps it nice, simple and close to the surface; that way obvious plotholes can be ignored more easily, that way you avoid social commentary just as well as tedious explanations and you enable yourself to i.e. always have a proper problem-solving code handy, or a nerd who just happens to know the code to save the world. After deciding to leave out the details the filmmakers had to fill up the time with other stuff, which is of a kind we've seen a thousand times before and understand immediatly: Just let our hero linger in the kid's room a little, have him pick up and set down a baseball bat with a name on it, have him make a face like three days of rainweather and there you are, all the character history you'll ever need is established.
Well, Mr. Mostow, just as T3 wasn't overly dramatic and lacked passion, Surrogates is missing vitality and will probably be remembered a better movie than it actually is, it's just providing some light entertainment, and upon rewatching people, just as it is the case with T3, will be disappointed and say to themselves: Yeah, right, it actually wasn't that good, we should have rented something like I, Robot instead. Or a real classic like T2. Or The fuckin' Last Boy Scout.
At least this time nobody ruined a franchise.

Basterds

Inglorious Basterds is a very crude movie. It feels like Kill Bill all over again, only less round and more like a Western (set in Nazi-France). It's very violent and could IMHO have done without some of the gory scenes. Sometimes the movie feels a little slow, maybe because of all the Tarantino-esk dialogue, but then the dialogue is one essential reason why Basterds is worth watching. The other is the cinematography: angles, tracking, Riefenstahl quoting etc, and the score, the music, the on-screen fonts - the whole mix that makes for the overall crudeness of the movie, which is both a pro and con. The story is alright, it ignores every single historical fact and takes us whereever Tarantino wants to go, which makes for a nice ride. I liked Kill Bill better, but Basterds is a movie that works. Expactions fulfilled. Oh, I really liked Brad Pitt's performance. He must have had a lot of fun shooting this. And Bela B's got a tiny role, too (but I watched it in a Canadian cinema, nobody understood my outcry of sudden excitement: It's Bela!!! Oh right, you don't know him...nevermind).
I bought some books at the local used book store, which is way to expensive. But since I had saved a lot of money earlier when I bought a pair of on-sale jeans (Levis, 20 bucks) I didn't care and spent 17 bucks on books (more light reading for the winter). I still could use some real literature, though. My new jeans fit almost perfectly, for 100% fit I would need a 31-34, and they don't make that size here. So I had to settle for a 32-34 instead.

Concerned Celebrations

There is one reason to be concerned and three reasons for celebration.
Celebration reason #1: Back to Highspeed. No further comment.
Celebration reason #2: This is post number 100. It's a round number! 100 posts! I'm so excited. Yeah. Next.
Celebration reason #3: For more than one year I have not smoked a cigarette. The actual date was september 23rd 2008, 10 PM. That indeed is a good reason for some celebration. I like it. Though it's starting to feel awkward talking about with other people:
Person 1: Oh, I so wanna quit smoking!
Person 2: Oh, I so should quit smoking!
Person 3: I haven't smoked since february, except at parties, like a pack every 2 months.
Person 4: Stop smoking? Yeah, next year.
And then I say my line and another conversation hits a dead end. But well, as I said, I like it. Guess I had no choice, after justifing 10 years of smoking with saying I'll quit before I turn 30. (Mh, a good six months to spare there. I think these six months could still count as smoking credit time? I'll use 'em up after I turn sixty.)

Reason for anti-celebration: My cat-allergy seems to be getting worse. I think I also have developed at least a minor dust allergy. I have a lot of trouble staying in cat-infested (meaning 1 cat lives there, or 2) households, adjusting to them, even if I take anti-hystamines. It's not just stuffed nose and some sneezing anymore, it's starts with that, goes to loads of sneezing, and loads of stuff in the nose up to coughing and a swollen feeling in my throat. Fresh air cures it almost immediately, though (inside half hour). I guess I'll have to take a lot of walks and strolls this coming week.

Tonight I'm gonna go and see Inglorious Basterds.

Waiting For Sunday

This is dial-up. Really slow.
This feels like 800x600. Really low.
We're not in the city anymore.
I can't post anything.
We must wait until sunday for that.

(But I bought 12 books for 2,64 at the local book exchange. Light reading for the winter.)

Big City

How do you determine if a city is really a city and really cosmopolitan and stuff? Just count the adult stores in the downtown area. The more you see without looking for them and the bigger their signs are, the more city-esk is the city.
I'm in Toronto right now. I walked down Yonge Street and saw at least 4 adult stores. Later I walked down Queen and through Kensington, and I think Toronto is pretty cool. Reminds me of Berlin a little bit.
After living out in bumfucknowhere for so long citylife is quite overwhelming at first. But it's also nice. We went into a bar last night, played some pool, there were three live-bands playing, nice music (some kind of emo-country), great variety of different beers available...
And I got my socks and t-shirts. No pants though, didn't feel like looking for them.
Soon I'll be on my way to the airport again.

Desk

After 1.5 days of walking the box stores under a blazing sun I've finally found a desk. I almost ended up with a nice wooden chipped table from a used office furniture store, but then I walked into a RONA of all places. And there it was, the straight simple computer desk with a nice big keyboard tray. 48x30 or something, seems sturdy, has feet, looks nice. I bought it and put it in storage.
Tonight I'll have to get up pretty early to catch my flight to an even bigger city; there I'm gonna buy a couple of t-shirts and maybe some pants. And a new passport, mine will expire soon. And socks, I'm gonna buy socks! Muahharharhar!
(A lot of evil laughter lately. Should I start to worry?)

Why it Sucks to Live in a Big Country Next to the USA

1. You can't just drive anywhere, because it takes days.
2. In real life, there's no such thing as overnight-express.
3. You have to fly everywhere.
4. Airline baggage restrictions apply.
5. You have to travel halfway across the country to buy your favourite kind of t-shirt.
6. The same applies for pants, socks, electric horses, computer desks and everything else.
7. If you can't find it where you are, don't bother traveling someplace else, because they won't have it, either, because everything is a fuckin' chain.
8. If you look for online stores, you always end up with ones based in the US.
9. Tim Horton's coffee tastes like warmed up liquid shit.
10. You can't walk to the supermarket, because it's always out of town.
11. You really, really need a car.

Hotel Room #2 / Songs

The king size bed we're sleeping in these days is like one of those old castle/manor dining tables, and people sitting far away from each other at the narrow sides. The bed is so big, instead of saying good night, we have to call out to each other and wait for the echo.
More importantly: You may have noticed: The songs on the right are gone, so is the player. So much for reliable file-hosting-services. They might not be back anytime soon. I'll see what I can do. The videos are still there, though.
Today I will finally get a haircut. A "big city haircut". Muahahahahar!

Hotel Room

We're staying in the same hotel like last time, except one floor up, and on the other side of the building, where the luxury suites are. That's right, luxury suites. With black leather, a king instead of a double, bathrobes for our convenience.
Now we finally know: Rich people are happier, because they can buy luxury. Man, these bathrobes... I feel like Axel Foley. Bathrobe, anyone?

Back to Civilization

One week of no internet. Can you believe it? It went down somewhen at night last week, and didn't come back up. The first day it was okay. The second I thought: Ah well, I've survived worse things. On thursday I got a little worried. When it wasn't there friday, I lost hope: Nobody works on the weekends! Who should bring it back? And yes, no internet on saturday. No internet on sunday. And today, at 9 in the evening, finally: High speed.
But wait: We traveled. We're on holiday. We're in the big city. In a hotel room. Thank you civilisation, here, have us back. (We just had some beers at a rooftop restaurant. Wheee! After no beer for like ever these ones really tasted great, even for such a beer schmock like I am, beer flavour spoiled European.)
And one more thing: We had some plums hanging around in our fridge, my wife got tired of them, so I decided to make a good ol' plum cake. I didn't know how to make it, but remembered what it had to look like. Kind of like pizza-dough with plums on top and some sugar. So I did that. Made pizza dough, cut the plums in halfs, put them on top, a bit of sugar over it, into the oven for 20 minutes, et voilá: Plum cake. And it tasted just as it was supposed to taste: Awesome.
So much for now, I have to make some chess moves. (Oh, my fellow online chess partners, how long you've had to wait! - I hope you don't get unfair advantage from the fact that I am under the influence of alcohol.)

Introducing...

Griffin, the dark bear from hell who goes "Gnaaah!".
Is there anybody who hasn't heard of him? He who grew to become the most famous of all bears, feared, respected and loved all over the world and in its shadows; every creature from insect to elephant knows his name: Griffin, the dark bear from hell who goes "Gnaaah!".
His story begins on a cold december morning in 1964, in hell.
Everybody knows that the dark bears have lived in hell for all eternity. Every now and then however, and although they really should know better, some of them try stupid things like revolution. Griffin's parents were of that sort. They seriously wanted to introduce democracy in hell, can you imagine? Of course that got them into trouble with Satan himself, who, on a rare notion of being humble, instead of taking their lives just banned them from hell. So Griffin's parents had to emigrate, and they emigrated to New York.
When they moved into their shabby appartment on 110th street, Griffin's father, looking at his pregnant wife, laid out the rules: "Grrr, we're still dark bears. Dark bears from hell, and nothing will ever change that!"
"Grrr!" Griffin's mother said and blinked away one single tear. Little Griffin was born the following spring, and soon it was time for him to learn the call of the dark bears. This proved to be harder than expected, because whenever Griffin's father showed his son the traditional and well respected "Grrr!", all that Griffin could accomplish was a feeble: "Gnaaah!"
Now everybody knows in hell the official language is German, thus no dark bear has ever had problems pronouncing the call. Little Griffin however grew up in New York, and he had never heard a rolling R in his young life. He tried hard, and after years of schooling and training camps his call became loud, strong and well respected, but remained: "Gnaah!".
It broke his fathers heart. But the future had a lot in store for young Griffin, and over time his father, who had turned white, would learn what a fine son he had, that his son was in fact the most famous bear in the world, and everybody knew his name and spoke it with honour: Griffin, the dark bear from hell who goes "Gnaaah!".

Work

At 10 AM today I went to the supermarket to work there. That took the whole day and gave me 2 free meals, a number of cups of coffee and 100 bucks. Unfortunately for the near future, like next week, there's no more work scheduled, but they say they want to offer me something regular in october. Sounds good to me, because we'll be doing some traveling for half of september anyway. The supermarket staff is very friendly, but then again all the people here are very friendly. Very friendly people!
Too bad I don't speak French. The Boss said something in French to me today, to check out my language skills. I thought: Should I use my limited knowledge now and say something like "Il y a des nuages dans le ciel" or "Vous avez une contusion" or "Le soleil brille"... but before I could think that thought to the end I was already done saying: "Excuse me?"
Ah, well, whatever. Week 14 of being here is over today, and in the last two weeks I've managed to cut down the average weekly grocery bill by another 20 bucks (compared to the average of week 1-12). I like that. Let's see if I can keep that up.
And one last thing for now: I must say I really enjoy playing chess online against my friends.

Chick Flick

So today we've watched "He's not that into you". It's one of the worst movies ever. Or let me rephrase that: If you make it through the first 60 minutes of it (which needs all your power), you might actually be kind of entertained by the last 30. Maybe perhaps, that is (and most certainly because by then you will have have gotten used to the movie or simply won't care anymore). This movie is full of superficial characters who do superficial things, get stuck in stupid circles of thought, don't listen and don't tell. It has Ben Affleck in it. And Jennifer Aniston, who as usual plays the same character as in all her other movies (i.e. "The Break Up", which also sucked, for the same reasons). On top of that the writers have poured every single dumb cliché about relationships, marriage and dating into "He's not...". I thought I could handle chick flicks, now I'm not so sure. Making me watch it was probably my wife's revenge for making her watch all the James Bonds up to 1989.
Well, at least "He's not that into you" had the "Die Hard 4" sidekick actor in it, whose performances I've grown to like (as in "Drag me to hell"). His character is the only believable one in the movie, well, for half of it, unfortunately they later let him share the fate of his fellow co-characters. Awesome. I could barf all over the place.
One last bit of advice: If you ever, for whatever unlikely reason, find yourself choosing between "He's not that into you" and "Bride Wars", do not choose the latter. We've tried to watch that one. We lasted about 3 minutes, then we had to burn the DVD and the player. It's so bad, so plain dumb, we had to brush our teeth and rinse our eyes out. Literally.
I have to go and watch "Cliffhanger" now. And "The Last Boy Scout". And "Conan".

Barbecue

We just came back from a barbecue or potluck, or rather: bug-becue or bug-luck. I've been eaten alive by probably every single mosquito, bug and insect within 1 square mile. My arms, my head, my fingers!! Through the pants, through the socks! Call me mosquito-meal!
It's no fun. The food for humans was fun, though. I ate the most delicious orange-cumin-rubbed-chicken. Really good. The woman who made it also asked me for guitar-playing-advice. "Jup." I said. A nice barbecue altogether.
But those bugs! As soon as you stopped moving, they were all over you. I mean: me. And over everybody else, too, slamming their long suckers into innocent human skin. Suckers! Fuckers! Next time I go out I'll be like Forrest Gump: Running everywhere. That way they won't get me.

Hot September

The last few days it's been so hot here, the AC is running at all times. My instinct of survival makes it almost impossible to leave the house at all, except at 6:30 AM for our almost daily morning run (which by the way was especially good today, all the way to the airport and back at a steady and rather fast pace and without any walking). I think I will soon continue to work on my graphic novel, 9 months of a break from it I guess is more than enough.
People always seem to wonder-slash-inquire about me being a stay-at-home-husband. Nobody wonders about stay-at-home-wifes. People also talk about purpose in life; as if not having a job meant losing one's soul, one's brains and one's right to exist. I wish they'd stop. Having a job will never be my first priority in life.
I'm in for some part-time work, though. Applied for 4 jobs. No news there yet, unfortunately.
But this is new: I've managed to hook my wife on German Eierkuchen, or thin pancakes (like crepes). Hehe. We even had them for mid-day meal today. How awesome is that! I think I can start working now on Mustard Eggs and Sauerkraut. Muahahahaha!

Curry Chicken With Rice

We started off September with a nice morning run, and later a new mid-day meal: Curry chicken with rice, vegetables and fruit. It sounds a bit sophisticated, and it tastes awesome, though the recipe is just a slightly altered version of what I call Everything-Meal with rice (basically: throw whatever you wanna eat into a pan together and eat it). I curried the chicken exuberantly, fried it, fried onions, threw in the cooked rice and vegetables (carrots, beans), curried it again, peppered it, salted it, found a tin of abandoned fruit-cocktail in the fridge, drank the juice, threw in the fruit, stirred it, added garlic, let the whole thing sit on low and hoped for the best.
And my wife liked it.
Success! Success!

Unfortunately I didn't take a picture, so just imagine rice and chicken with beans and carrots in a frying pan, but more yellow.

My Personal Pre-Brosnan Bond Toplists

Since my own personal Bond-Experience began with "Goldeneye" (I had seen older Bonds before, but without knowing about the Bond franchise), and also because in the last months my wife and I sat through all the 16 (17 with "Never Say Never Again") Bonds up to 1989's "License to Kill", it is time now for a toplist. Here it comes:

Top 3 of all Bond movies before Pierce Brosnan:
1. The Living Daylights
2. Diamonds Are Forever
3. Goldfinger
Honorable mention: You Only Live Twice, Never Say Never Again.

The worst 5 Bond movies before Pierce Brosnan:
1. Live And Let Die
2. The other 6 Roger Moore Bonds except "A View To a Kill" and "Octopussy"
3. Octopussy
4. A View To A Kill
5. Thunderball
Honorable mention: License to Kill, On Her Majesty's Secret Service.

Reasons:
Roger Moore should be remembered as a) "Bathrobe Bond", because we see him wearing one in every single Bond movie he's in, b) "Dumb Boy Bond", because he never ever seems to know what he's doing, and c) "Lucky Fuck Bond", because every single woman wants to have sex with him for no apparent reason. And please, never ever torture us with that Sheriff again (nor with 5 boat chases in 4 sequential movies)!
Sean Connery's Bond's only flaw is that he gets whacked over the head too often. Apart from that some of his Bond movies suffer from bad writing and bad directing, "Thunderball" is especially boring. The Remake "Never Say Never Again" however, is surprisingly good (probably thanks to Irvin Kershner). "Diamonds Are Forever" is the best here because of its entertaining ideas, like the fake moon landing site, the awesome one-person-hug or the two gay killers. Besides, they had all these great sophisticated enemy lairs back then, especially the one in "You Only Live Twice".
The first Timothy Dalton Bond after Roger-Moore-Forever brings the franchise back to life, it's quick, funny, has lot's of great action, but most importantly: Bond is a secret agent again. He know's what he's doing! And he does his job first, then fucks the woman. Unfortunately they didn't manage to make that work for "License to Kill", which is just pure eighties boring.
I don't even want to start on "Her Majesty's Secret Service". It has it's moments, but it just "wouldn't have happened to the other guy".
Once we've finished rewatching the Brosnans and Craigs, I will make new lists. So long.

The Fog / Quarantine

There was fog on friday. Or was it saturday morning? I don't remember, but that fog took our internet connection away. We were offline the whole weekend, it only came back like 3 hours ago. Connection, it's good to have you back.
We did some movie watching: Quarantine. I'm not usually into zombie movies, and I'm not usually into shaky handycam movies. This one happens to be both, and even though it has Jennifer Carpenter in it, who is kind of hot, Quarantine sucks, as my wife would phrase it, the big hard one. Quarantine sucks, sucks, sucks! The zombies come in too late, then nobody recognizes them as zombies ("Uh, I'm just a vet, but these are all... rabies symptoms"), the camera guy most of the time has to hold the camera instead of helping the others, the whole movie is predictable, apparently none of the characters has ever seen a zombie movie, so all the time they act completely like "Yeah, let's endanger my life!", since the movie plays the whole rabies-thing (and the infected people turn green and drool) no-one of the characters seems to be concerned about getting infected, they keep touching the green ones, also whoever wrote the script obviously had no idea about basic medical procedures, and, the final and best reason why this movie sucks ass: Jennifer does a whole fuckload of screaming and whining. Thank you, that's 1:28 of my lifetime I will never get back. Cloverfield at least has made me sea-sick.

Celebration

This my 84th blog post, according to the number in the archive, and tomorrow will be the three-month-anniversary, or shouldn't it be called the third menstriversary (?) of this blog. Three months ago minus one day I started this thing. Well, I think that is worth this blog post, oh yes, it is.
Why mention it early, you may ask, the big day is tomorrow, not today. Right you are, but you know what? I don't care. Today's wednesday, and I feel like writing about the short-one-day-third-lunaversary of this.
I guess it's time give my blog an appreciatory look-up-and-down, not without the inevitable click of tongue, smack of lips and expert's eye of course:
Yes, I say, très formidable!

Okay, that's that. Good. I'm out of here.

Little Memo & Movies

To prevent my videos from getting lost in the dark and evil worlds of archive, I've added links to them in a seperate field on the right, just below the music player. This way they are easily accessible for re-watching ;D.
Another thing: I've watched the movie "State of Play" the other day, and I liked it. It's a good movie, even though it has Ben Affleck in it. No really. Russell Crowe is great in this one, if you don't mind his hair, that is. So if you like the whole journalism/media-sensation/government/conspiracy genre, watch "State of Play". Very solid movie.
Oh, since I'm talking movies. A while ago or so I tried to watch "Fast & Furious". It sucks. Don't bother with it. It just sucks. Crappy CGI-Stunts, and Vin Diesel just isn't as cool as he was in "The Fast & The Furious". Oh, Hollywood, please learn: Never take the definitive articles away from something, never take those articles!
Movie #3: I re-watched "Tremors". What a fun movie. Always a pleasure. Can you fly, motherfucker???

Monday, Monday

The new week has started. This monday can look back already to an early morning run, making and eating breakfast, a walk to the post office (sending out two letters), a chat with the pharmacy guy (and hitching a ride back to town), buying groceries at the store, the cleaning of the whole appartment, doing the laundry, changing the sheets, winning a chess game, cooking and eating midday meal, reading the news and listening to The Stone Roses (not necessarily in that order).
And now I will play video games and more chess.

Bread

We were running out of bread today, so I decided to bake some. It turned out well and tastes awesome. The bread is 50 percent whole wheat, that's why we can safely believe in its healthyness, even if we eat fuckloads of Nutella with it.

Apart from that it was a pretty lazy day. I might go fishing again tomorrow.

New Post

This is a new post. I feel I have to post something. Is that wrong? Does my blog start to control my life? Is it taking over? Going back to text only seems a bit strange after posting so many songs and videos. Well, however, first things first:
It didn't rain today. Not at all. Still, I didn't go out. I stayed inside and made pizza. Two pizzas. Also I am happy to look at my statistics of our money-spending over the last ten weeks. I've written down every single cent I've spent for groceries and everyday household stuff, and the weekly average looks very good. Even great.
Two days ago I made a new dish, because at the store I had bought curry. That enabled me to make curry-dishes, which I did: Curry-chicken with rice. It may sound weird, but I found it exciting to stray away from the meals I usually make.
Also I find myself spending a lot of time dreaming about my new computer, I'm also spending way too much time looking forward to a new computer-game coming out in october. The game's called Risen. Well, the number of really good games is very small, and Risen has great potential.
Finding a job also takes longer than I thought. Seems like I underestimated the processing time my potential employers need to consider it or to check for open positions or to screen my background or whatever. I'm a bit tired of fishing, too. Sitting around, waiting for fish to bite, it's windy, there are bugs...
Wait a minute... Am I bored? I might be bored! Heureka!
Guess I have to find something to do.
I kind of wanna construct and build a table for myself, out of two-by-fours. I'm thinking 40 inches by 25 or 30, and 30-35 high. But I can't build it, because a) I don't have tools and b) I don't have two-by-fours and c) the next hardware store is a three hour drive away and d) I don't have a car.
Well, then I'll just keep hacking away at my keyboard and produce blog-posts for now. Like this one. Which ends here. Good night.

Today's Numbers

Times I went running: 1
Number of kilometers run: maybe 5
Times I went fishing: 1
Number of fish caught: zero
Number of pickerel rigs lost: 1
Times I hitched a ride today: 2
Number of places I was taken before I got where I wanted to go: 2
Times I went to the store: 2
Number of stuff bought: 10-30
Times I went to explore another employment opportunity: 1
Number of successes in that: can't say, filling out a stack of forms doesn't count.
Other activities:
Number of chess moves made: 18
Number of meals cooked: 1
Number of copies made: 1
Number of sophisticated blog posts written: zero
I guess that's it.

Last Video: I Wonder if it Rains at Home

This is the last video for now, I don't think I'll make any more soon. I am little videoed-out perhaps. I'd like to send some greetings across the ocean with this one. And across the continent, too. ;)

Music Video: "Hair"

Yup, another video. This one was a pain in the ass to make. It took forever. I'd like to blame that on the actors, they were kind of hard to work with. Okay, I didn't pay much (nothing, in fact), but in return for allowing them to star in my video I would have expected a little more enthusiasm. Or agility. You'll see what I mean.



However, I think it turned out okay. Thanks for liking the other videos.

Hospital Music Video

Well, I've made another video. This time for the song "Hospital".

Tales of a Fish 2009 Video

I've made a little video for the Tales of a Fish 2009 song.



I used a lot of material from the web to do this, and it's possible that I have missed a copyright here or there. Please contact me at brato dot useba at gmail dot com if you see anything you own and don't want in my video and I will remove it.