Tell Me Which Shower Gel You Use And I'll Tell You Who You Are

The other day I saw a commercial for a shower gel on TV. For some reason this commercial got stuck in my mind, it somehow appealed to me. I distinctively remember thinking: Yeah, that stuff sounds good. Perhaps I should check it out.
The advertised product was Dove Men Care shower gel.

Today it so happened that I saw this very item on a shelf at the supermarket. Not just the shower gel, no, one of those gift bundles: A toiletry bag, in it shower gel, a shower-scrubby-thingy and, interestingly, two golf balls with 4 tees.
I immediately decided to buy it, for two reasons:
1. I have been wanting to get myself a nice toiletry bag for a long time. Throwing toothbrush and everything in a plastic bag all time just didn't seem right anymore.
2. I have been trying to a find a new suitable shower gel for a while now, and somehow Dove Men Care could be the right choice for me at this time in my life.
I have been using Axe a lot, but I am not 20 anymore. Gillette to me seems too flashy, Adidas and other sporty brands too athletic. Nivea is just too plain boring, I use it when there's not much to choose from. Store brand shower gels are out of the question anyway. Old spice and the likes is for old men. Hugo and similar brands are too fancy and too high society. You may understand that I really wasn't able to identify with any of the available shower gel brands. They just didn't represent me.
And along comes Dove Men Care. The commercial as well as the container's design carry a message that communicates a manly-ness that doesn't need to call for attention. Just Man. At the same time there's this underlying message of skincare, which makes the Man a Modern Man. It says: Yeah, I use skin care, but I'm not gay. My skin is soft and my cock is hard and ready, baby.
Awesome.

The stuff also seems to smell pretty decent.
Tomorrow I'll shower with it, I'll let you know how it performs.

PS: The golf balls say Dove Men Care on them. The printing is only noticable after opening the packaging. Great. That makes them basically useless for golfing. Who the fuck goes to play golf with shower gel golf balls? Definitely no Modern Man would ever do that.
Well, Dove Men Care gift pack assemblers, whoever had the golf ball idea just fucked up the whole image you so painstakingly created with the ad campaign. The shower-scrubby-thingy is also questionable, by the way. Even though it comes partially framed in manly plastic.