Growing Older

Lately I'm getting these weird little hungry feelings in the evenings around 9 or 10. Sudden desires for cookies or chocolate or potato chips. I didn't have that before. That's something new, probably some kind of left-over from Christmas, and I don't like it.
It just doesn't seem right to start eating all kinds of junk food so late in the day and so close to sleepy time. So I tried having a banana or an orange, or a carrot, but honestly, that doesn't really work. All these fruits and vegetables just lack the satisfaction only junk food can bring. At least that's what it seems like.
On the other hand, maybe being exposed to today's madness about slimness has finally gotten to me and succeeded in making me paranoid. I am finally paranoid. All this healthy eating, whole wheat and home-cooking, vitamins and enough fluid intake per day has finally intruded my mind and fucked with my brain-wiring.
Didn't I frequently enjoy Doppelkekse back in Europe? Didn't I always have a roll or two stashed somewhere? Then again, back in the day I also smoked about 10 cigarettes a day, more when drinking, and didn't I have beer many times a week? And yes, didn't I not cook and didn't I get all my nutrition from frozen pizza?
By the way, I also listened to music differently then. I have a feeling now I can appreciate different styles of music much more. That I was kind of close-minded. Like horses with blinders. But back to the food issue:
I don't think I can allow myself to give in to those cravings. I don't wanna be fat 10 years from now. I will have to keep substituting fruit for other snacks. For health's sake.
I will now go and have an orange.