Hauling Home

I was looking at potatoes. Different size bags of them: 5, 10, 15, 20 pounds. I said to myself: "You should buy the 5 pound bag, maybe the 10, but no heavier than that. Remember you have to carry it all the way home." It's a 10 to 15 minute walk. I looked at all the other stuff already in the cart: 2,5 kg of flour, lot's of fruit, canned vegetables, bread, 2 big packs of meat (you save 30 cent per kg if you go big), yoghurt and other stuff. "I have to let them give me plastic bags this time," I thought, "my two reusable bags won't carry all this." And my hand was going for the 10 pound bag of potatoes. It said 9,99 on it. An okay deal. "This I can carry home", I thought. My hand was almost there, when my eyes saw the sign right next to it: 11,99. For the 20 pound bag. 2 bucks more for twice as much? Do bears use ass-wipes? I took the 20.
I ended up in front of the store with two full reusable bags, two full plastic bags and my potatoes in my cart. A guy said to me: "I saw you walking earlier. You wanna carry this all the way?"
I grinned broadly: "Sure! I bought it, I'll carry it."
And so I walked. The 4 bags on the left side, the potatoes under my right arm. Left and right had approximately the same weight. After a while I switched sides. I walked. Piece of cake for a guy who has been in the army once. Marching 20k with a 30 kg backpack and 5 kg gun. No problem. Oh right, I was sick the day they did that. Strike that.
I switched sides again. Have I mentioned that it had been raining on and off all day? Like sunshine. Downpour. Sunshine. Downpour. Did I say that to the store I had walked in sunshine?
From the store: Downpour. There's me with my potatoes and my bags. Halfway home. Pants soaked through in an instant. Luckily I was wearing my new awesome rain jacket, so I didn't get wet. At least not belt-upwards. Nothing I could do but walk on, so I held on a little tighter to my potatoes under my arm and I did that. I walked on. Through the mud.
The stuff was getting heavy. And heavier. I saw my destination. Not far now! Then I realized that the potatoes were strangely un-heavy. I turned around and saw: These fuckers had silently made their way out the upper opening of the bag! I had left a trail of potatoes behind! Arrghhh!
I picked them all up. The rain stopped just when I reached home.
Conclusion: Never go for the 20 pound bag if you're on foot.
But later on I made cookies. Well, I wanted to. But I had to go to the store again first. I had forgotten the butter.

I made the cookies. According to my wife, they're amaaazing. Apparently all I cook is amaaazing. 3 out of 3. I must be a great chef.(I also made pasta today, the sauce was amaaaazing, too. That's 4 out of 4.)

By the way, my wife got herself some moose-shoes today. They have red birds on them who harvest blueberries. Isn't that something. Next time I'll hire them to fly home my groceries.