Jesus Fucking Fish

I went fishing today, which was nice: Everything was calm and quiet, except for the splish-splash of water, some insects buzzing or an occasional car in the background. Until the three big-ass vans pulled up, and out poured a fuckload of VBS children, instantly running around everywhere, looking for bugs and worms and going all oh and ah on finding rotten sticks and mouldy roots as if they had never seen a lake before.
VBS? What the fuck is VBS? A little boy told me that VBS stands for Vacation Bible School. Now isn't that great. Vacation Bible School? Isn't that a threesome-paradox in itself already? And then this guy walks up to us, with his little nametag on, saying B.J., which probably stands for BlowJob (and no child's behind left), and grinning stupidly and probably trying to be funny, BlowJob says something like: "Nothing like a bunch of children throwing rocks in the water to enjoy the serenity of fishing."
Yes, BlowJob. You named it. Nailed it. Exactly that. Fuck off, Vacation Bible School from Montana! Go play somewhere else! Then I overheard another teacher talking to a local kid. He had put one of those cheesy Christian smiles on his face: "I heard you've attended Vacation Bible School today for the first time, and you hung out. That's great!"
How fucked up is this? They take a fuckload of already poisoned children from Montana, put them in some vans, drive them to a place a thousand miles away, so they can use them to poison the kids here, too. And the local kids will then connect the experience of joy and playtime with fucking Jesus, and then they will grow up to sing gruesome versions of Haleluja on the local radio, as their parents already do, and without noticing they will have given themselves to an institution that symbolizes genocide, killing, immorality and whatnot in the name of the fucking Lord, who was completely made up by some crazy people in a desert thousands of years ago. I don't get it. (I didn't get any fish, either. But I definitely wasn't there to catch fucking ichthys!)
That's Religion at work, always going for those who can't defend themselves.
At least when they start hemorrhaging out of their eyes they'll probably regard it as some kind of fucked up miracle revelation, so they won't call in for emergency medical help and my wife can finally sleep a night through.