Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Vadder van Horstssohn to collaborate with Brato Useba?

According to a source in Brato Useba's inner circle, controversial reverend Vadder van Horstssohn has been seen at Useba's studio. Wether van Horstssohn is working with Brato Useba on one of his upcoming tracks or providing spiritual guidance to the master as of yet remains unknown.

Amsterdam-born but now Swedish citizen van Horstssohn, once celebrated member of the Roman-Catholic Church, later banned from it, has come to international attention for his anti-dogmatic interpretation of the bible. His 1983 presentation at the Vatican claimed the Book beeing full of plot-holes, and van Horstssohn suggested to use parts of other religious writings of non Christian groups to fill in the blanks. While believers of basically every single religion on this planet merely cocked their eyebrows a little over this, they reacted with pure outrage when van Horstssohn presented a chain of circumstancial evidence suggesting all gods were in fact a bunch of gay black nazi-jews, plotting to destroy earth, and the associated prophets were just the corresponding equivalences of fluff-girls, plotting to have a good time. "With that assumption", van Horstssohn said, "we can give the old rock-the-church-is-built-upon-thingy a whole new meaning."

Worldwide outbursts of religious leaders demanded, inter alia, to:
-cut out van Horstssohn's tongue
-burn him on a stake
-remove his testicles and/or penis
-have his brain fried
-perform multiple exorcisms on him etc.

Reverend van Horstssohn, of whom his believed that his friends call him Horst, however is still alive and well, though him being spotted at Useba's marks the first time* in 22 years that he has left his 243.000 acre ranch in Carnivore, Utah. Rumors have it Brato Useba may once again be assisting a fallen star to renewed fame. If anyone official had been available to comment on this, NakNakOverThere can't but think the comment would most likely have been: This is it.

*NakNakOverThere has access to information that suggests van Horstssohn might have visited Germany in 2002. The validity of said information could not be confirmed yet.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

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